How can I change my life with the skills to change other people’s “no” into “yes”? Where can I use such persuasion skills? What benefits will I gain by practising it?
Is there a point for me to invest my precious time in it?
You can have all these questions and much more. Because DSE Rejection Coaching is a free online training program (the biggest part of it at least – I don’t exclude the idea of writing a book in this field after some time), the only cost you have to carry is YOUR TIME.
And time is money. So yes, in that sense, you pay for DSR Rejection Coaching. And it is absolutely natural that you ask for a good reason.
Benefits of practising Sleight of Mouth – and I am underlying word practising, cause just learning is not enough – are multiple. And as it is to speak the best from practice, I will share with you places where I used these skills till now.
Get better positions, projects and salary increases
My first use of these skills I will remember for my whole life. I was around 25. I was doing my first NLP course (for which I paid 1000 Euro). I got an opportunity to switch departments and position I had. I asked my future boss for a salary increase. But my future boss said that I would not get a raise. A classic “no”I would say. If not for my training, where I have learned how to Redefine, Alternative Explanation and Alternative Meaning and a few other tricks, I wouldn’t know how to riposte. And I would stay with my old salary. But I had my secret weapon, and I have used it. I said one sentence. And I got this salary increase. Not big, but I worked for four years in this position, and I have earned in this time on this one sentence altogether extra 2000 euros.
Please, don’t tell me that it is not useful 😉 Right words in the right moment and money are coming.
Sell more, make your team sell more
I have always wanted to be a great teacher. But since I had clients from sales departments, I decided to do a yearly project at some point. My training company was already running, and I was earning decent money from it, but I called some friends, saying, “I want to work for some time in sales”. In the first company, I was doing product presentations. In another two, I was doing cold calls and presentations. I didn’t have any significant prior selling experience (well, you have to learn basics when you are self-employed), yet I had decent results. But the most important thing is that I have learned about problems and obstacles that people who sell are meeting. A lot of “no, I am not interested”. I was in your shoes. I believe that to become a great teacher, you have to understand the needs of your students. And there are so many “no’s” in sales.
Words as a Product or Service to sell
This is also a way how I have earned money in the past. Business Writing. Writing texts for websites, brochures, etc. Texts which captivate, resonate and help to sell (copywriting). Posts and articles for portals (content writing). Scripts for call centre workers with sequences and answers to different client reactions (very often connected with teaching these workers how to use these scripts). Yeah, these people are getting a lot of “no’s” every day. And I was helping them overcome theirs (and their bosses to fulfil (and overachieve) their quartal plans). All of these as paid orders from clients. And after some years, I wrote two books. Yes, words that are in the right sequence have value on their own.
This skill saved my ass. Literally. My first partner was getting nuts, and with these skills, I was able to calm her down. Well. We separated at the end. And I have learned then how important for a good relationship are also: the same values, similar beliefs and at least one shared hobby (and common sexual fetish for hot sex 😉 ). Right now, I am in this kind of relationship, and things are smooth. But, even when they are smooth, from time to time, my partner has a different opinion in some critical cases. Neglects some of my beliefs. Instead of fighting (it always lowers the quality of the relationship; it creates bad memories), I am gently persuading a different perspective (which, in my eyes, has more sense, or at least is neutral (from “Question Thinking: learner mindset”). My life experience and field of expertise gave me the skill to predict the consequences of some social actions, attitudes and not so valuable beliefs. So I am helping other people to change them.
Don’t fight. Talk. And know how to talk.
Increase your social attractiveness
A sharp tongue is a sign of intelligence. And many people are sapiosexual (the intelligent person is sexually attractive for us). Even if we are not looking for a partner, we tend to like spending time with people we admire. From whom we can learn something. People who are challenging us. Make us better. Be this person!
The best way to show your intelligence in social situations is to sharpen your tongue. Use your communication skills more consciously.
A few words of summary
These were my benefits. Your benefits of practising Sleight of Mouth as a part of your dealing with your rejection issues or a wider persuasion and communication skills (remember, in our Institute, it is free) will probably fit somewhere here…
I read the book “Power Money Fame Sex: A User’s Guide” by Gretchen Rubin many years ago. Maybe I am guilty of simplifying things, but… We crave them. We want them. We need them. We want to hear “yes” in these areas. At least in a moderate amount because lack of them is painful for us:
- Lack of power over your life and closest surroundings (and social surroundings like the workplace) makes us afraid.
- Lack of money makes us feel unsuccessful and stupid.
- If people don’t notice us, our self-esteem drops rapidly.
- And when we don’t have a sexual partner, we get nuts.
And this is where you will see the benefits of a regular Linguistic Workout
- You will excess your influence on other people. For example, you will have fewer problems with your workers, co-workers and supervisors in place of work.
- Getting salary increases and selling more or with higher prices will be easier.
- Effortlessly, make them like you.
- And make them chase you.
But… Maybe it is still not for you.
Maybe when you are tired, coming back after long hours of work, you should keep to your old routines. Watch your series. Play computer games.
Taking responsibility for your life into your hands and changing your habits is not for every person.
Maybe you cannot choose to change because someone took this power away from you.
Maybe you are destined for your whole life… To stay where you are. Reject yourself before giving other people a possibility to reject you.
Or maybe you are finally noticing that the only problem you have in your life is YOU. And when you overcome this, no one never will be able to stop you.
People believe that their beliefs are what they are. They cling to them. Afraid to change. To adapt. Changing is not always easy. It needs effort, self-discipline, and pain acceptance (yes, it is often painful). Accepting the truth that… Your communication skills are probably “not optimal”, and it would be wise to improve them… It is like swallowing a bitter pill.
But believe me. It is easier to swallow this bitter pill now than to be separated from your child when divorcing. Or lying to yourself for your whole life that money is not important and does not bring happiness and dying not seeing all this world’s wonders (money helps buy access to travel experiences).
Change. Take your life into your hands. Grow your communication skills.
Lead better, earn more, and enjoy more your love life.
So what are you afraid more? Being potentially rejected or regretting not trying your chances in life?
It is your choice.
My choice is to do my weekly linguistic workout regularly. A single thing, a single action, will not significantly influence your life. But a regular linguistic workout will bring you life-changing results.